I only recently got into poetry after discovering that everyone else was doing it wrong and that was most likely the reason I didn’t like poetry to start with. So I set about learning how to do it properly. Here you’ll find my poems and the odd article on the hows, whys and what the fucks of poetry.

And then it all went wrong

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I thought I should maybe probably write a little post to cover my tracks. You’ve probably noticed that after only a few weeks of the poetry challenge, I gave up. Well, there’s a good reason for that, I gave up cos I’m shit. You see, my plan was to read the week’s theme on a […]

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Week 5 – My Cat’s A Wanker

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Well this poetry thing isn’t going well at all. I’m a week behind and only coming up with partial works. Still, I might as well post what I’ve done, if for no other reason than to show that I’ve not just given up. So here’s this week’s. Or is it last weeks? Anyway, the theme […]

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Week 4 – D’ya Wanna?

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This week’s theme was, an invitation. It could be any kind of invitation and at first I thought I’d do one called, Come to the Orgy. I got as far as Come to the orgy We can have such fun You can take me in the kitchen And I’ll do you up the…. And then […]

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52 – Week 3 – This Is Me

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This weeks theme is my exposed body. I suspect this was meant to be an attempt at getting me to write an honest (brutally so) poem that left me exposed as a “good” poet should. However, since I tend to write in character I had a lot of trouble getting into it. Consequentially, this is […]

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52 – Week 2 – Doing My Exercise

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Doing my exercise I’ve been running  about round the park like a twat And it’s too bloody cold and I’m too bloody fat I’ve forgotten my gloves and I ain’t got an ‘at And the shorts that I’m in make me look like a prat There are dogs on those leads that are too bloody […]

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52 – Week 1

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As part of my brilliant plan to be more creative this year, I wanted to do more poetry. So I got this book called, 52 by Jo Bell, which provides a different prompt for each week. You also get a little discussion and one or two example poems on that weeks theme. So I’m doing […]

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Bury Me in the Potter’s Field

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This poem was written some time ago and I totally forgot to post it here. It got over 340 views on Hello Poetry and was a trending poem for 1 day which will most likely be the highlight of my career 😀

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I’m Sexy and a Poet

C.J. Dennis, poet, journalist and comic, ca. 1910 / photographer unknown

We didn’t do poetry at school, as far as I can remember, although we may have skirted it on occasion. But mostly, thanks to the set system, I was one of those deemed not clever enough to bother teaching poetry to. So it passed me by. It was the Channel 4 show, 8 Out Of 10 […]

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