Sit down, sit down, sit down. I have something to tell you. I’ve been tagged. No, not by the authorities, by The Grass Stain Guru, Bethe Almeras.
It’s all part of the Honest Scrap Awards and involves me listing 10 things about myself that readers of this blog wouldn’t ordinarily know. Well, that should be easy as I really don’t give much away.
Like Bethe, this is not something I would normally partake in, being as it’s clearly a chain letter in a clever new hat. However, it does give me an excuse to take a new approach to my blog.
10 things you never knew about me.
So, lets get started then shall we? The list is supposed to be 10 honest things about myself, so I spent a whole weekend compiling my list. It looks honest to me and here it is:
1. I own 4 ukuleles.
And 1 guitar, 1 banjo, 2 harmonicas, 3 tin whistles,1 Stylophone, 1 Xaphoon (look it up) and a kazoo. With the exception of the kazoo, I have yet to master any of them.
2. I have 11 hats.
None of them suit me. For example:
3.I can juggle.
Balls, Clubs and Diablo if you must know.
Yeah.
Deal with that.
4. DIY is beyond me.
When it comes to making, building or repairing stuff, you’d probably be better off looking elsewhere. I am useless at that sort of thing. Just not very handy at all. Even model aeroplanes are an exercise in futility.
I also know nothing of mechanics.
I blew the engine on my first car because I didn’t realise you had to put oil in there. Well, it’s hard to remember everything. Oil, petrol, water, cleaner fluid.
It’s complicated. Shut up.
5. In my family, I’m the posh one.
I know.
Hard to believe isn’t it?
And yet, there it is. It’s almost as if I was adopted.
The rest of our mob is what you’d call proper working class, all manual workers – truck drivers, factory workers, cleaners – then there’s me.
And my computer.
I’m such a disappointment. But at least I know the correct way to open a bottle of champagne. I tell my Dad every Christmas, twist the bottle not the cork you heathen.
Oh we do laugh.
6. I come from good quality carney stock.
Take a peek at my family tree and you wont have to look too far back to find that a whole host of us were born in caravans. Travelling fairground workers they were.
Nobody is really sure which games we ran but, to be fair, until my old Nan died, nobody knew. The look on the faces of everyone at the funeral while the vicar read out the eulogy was priceless.
7. I once made a pie.
I want to say, chicken, but I think it was more likely, turkey.
8. I have a blue belt in Karate.
I’ve also studied, Boxing, Thai Boxing, Jiu Jitsu and all in wrestling. I’m proper hard me.
9. I do like a nice sandwich.
A meatball sub would be my preference. But, to be honest, I really don’t mind as long some effort has been put into it. A bit of salad – not too much. Chicken. Sundried tomatoes. Mayo. Fresh bread. Nice.
Actually, I could really go one of those right about now.
Mmmmmmmm.
10. Nap time takes place between 15:00 and 17:00
Do not call.
Tag, you’re it.
So that’s my list. I feel good now that we’ve shared. Or at least, I’ve shared. I’m meant to tag another 7 people at this point so that they can make their list and tag 7 more people and so on.
Honestly though, I just can’t bring myself to do it. I know for a fact that as much as some of you wouldn’t mind, many of you would be bloody annoyed. So instead, consider this an open invitation to join in.
I’ve used this opportunity to draw a line under my blog as it stands at the moment in order to re-think it. But it’s also been a lot of fun. So if you feel the need:
I hereby give you the Honest Scrap Award.
Enjoy.
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Ha. Hahahahaha! And I know the truth. It’s got to be said, you have been honest, Mr Pikey.
@wildelycreative´s last blog ..Night Tracking on Twitter
Mr Pikey???
Do you mind madam, I’m a respectable Gentleman!
First off, it’s good to know I’m not the only one who collects instruments they can’t play. Was the photography really necessary? I was eating a custard cream. It is now sitting half eaten on the sofa. If your family are drinking champers at xmas they’re not that working class… I’m probably posher than you tho. I’m from the dorset countryside and have a double barreled surname that goes back generations.
Maybe your carney roots was bearded lady?
At your age I suppose naptime must be essential, but I don’t have time for these things. I have to walk six miles a day to get to/from my 9-5 office job, gym going, have a house to keep, a rabbit to look after, a boyfriend to cook for, a writing group to hang out with and when I get the time I write. Or sit in the bath.
Right.
The photos were inspired by the ones I saw on your blog, so you’ve only yourself to blame.
My family only ever drink Champers at Christmas. They complain loudly about it every year in good old working class fashion.
You may well be posher than me. But I never claimed to be the poshest one in YOUR family.
Where the hell is Dorset?
My Carney roots clearly make me some sort of King. And I’ll thank you to not take the Pish out of the Bearded Lady. Lobster boy hates it when you do that and he’ll come round to sort you out.
OF COURSE NAP TIME IS ESSENTIAL! You should make time for it. Just drag yourself away from the thrill of the 9-5, the gym (which, I hear, really isn’t working), cooking the rabbit for your boyfriend and whatever else it is you do. Have a bit of a kip. Go on, treat yourself.
Love the hats, loved the post.
One question though: how come none of your points feature cake?
Finally, a normal person
Glad you liked it. And in answer to your question, none of my points involve cake because the list has to contain things that you wouldn’t know from reading my blog.
I decided that my love of cake was a given and needed no further discussion.
Eleven Hats: Six photographs.
This conjures up a number of options:
1.You are a big fibber and the other five hats are the same ones but worn backwards (excluding the mask that is a bit irreversible.
2. You ran out of expressions to match the remaining hats
3. You decided that in order to extend our viewing pleasure you would publish a sequel featuring the remaining hats.
4. You decided that enough was enough and it would be best to quit while you were ahead.
I can only juggle balls and not very well. I dropped them to universal scorn on stage in Barrow-in-Furness, once. Must practice.
Sandwiches should never be overfilled: that’s just showing off.
I am shocked sir, SHOCKED, that you would doubt the number of hats I own. The above photos were meant to illustrate that I don’t look good in a hat.
But I am intrigued by your idea of a sequel series.
Maybe, given enough time, sandwiches and cake, I will rise to that challenge and then who will be laughing? Who?
Mwaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa and so on.
As for your juggling escapade, I used to go out with a girl from Barrow. There’s a lot of scorn there so don’t feel too bad.
For a second or two I thought that was a Kendo Nagasaki mask…I really did. His ceremonial unmasking is still one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen
I once saw Kendo Nagasaki unmasked mid match. His response to this was to hypnotise his opponent before stiff arming him and pinning for the win.
I believe he was eventually levelled by an old lady and her handbag on the front row.
Good old World Of Sport wrestling. Those were the days. Saturday afternoons have just been disappointing since they stopped showing it.
Best. Post. Ever. The hats brought me more joy than I know what to do with. Yay! Thanks for playing, Uke!
xoxo- Bethe
The pleasure was all mine.
)
Thanks for tagging me
mmm fascinating….fascinating. I am jealous of the juggling I have to say but we do share a few common factors:
1 Karate – I have a red belt in karate (and therefore am much inferior to you). I went at uni. The main attraction was the 4 pint pitcher of lager after every session, oh and the fact I had a mega competitive streak at that age, when I could afford it because I was young and fit.
2 I too am the posh one. The first one to uni. The one who had to explain ‘why on earth you want to move to liverpool/london/go to uni etc etc’.
3 I have many hats – berets, wooly ones, russian ones etc. I am a hat fiend.
4 I am a napper. I am so insanely grumpy if I do not sleep well and on a weekend if I do not have a nap. I am secretly spanish. (I do kind of look spanish so think I was stolen by those very common english pirates as a child and brought unknowingly into a family who have tried to trick me into thinking I am theirs)… But the neccessity for a siesta tells me otherwise….
The other six points not so much…
Kelly
It’s a a hard life we lead Kelly.
Do you think you may actually be descended from posh, hat wearing, ninja pirates?
Because that would rule.