So I’ve been given yet another award – I know, I really do totally deserve it – this time it’s from that Jane Travers. As you can see from the picture, it’s the “Creative Writer” Blogger Award which means I have to do some lying.
Lying is not something I’m used to doing at all, in fact I’m almost insulted. If it wasn’t for the fact that I have “cheat and liar” on my CV, I might get offended. It’s right there under Hobbies and Interests.
Like the Honest Scrap Award I got recently, I’m also obliged to nominate six more bloggers. I didn’t do it then and I’m not too sure about it now, only because I know a lot of people just get annoyed by this sort of thing. I’m only doing it myself because I enjoy lying so much.
If I did nominate people, they would be:
There, that’ll learn ‘em. Anyway, back to me.
In order to collect this award, and this goes for all of you that I’ve just nominated, you have to write a list consisting of six untruths or “lies” and one half truth. The game for the rest of you is to try and guess which is the half truth. Answers in the comments section kiddies.
Here’s my list:
- I’m obsessed with the colour Magenta and like to make sure that I wear an item of Magenta coloured clothing every single day.
- Ironically, I am actually allergic to cake.
- In my youth, I was quite the footballer and tried out for Chelsea. An injury in my “gentleman’s area” put paid to that career path before it had even started.
- Although my given name is Mr Uku, I am actually the Reverend Uku and have performed many weddings and christenings.
- I once had a stand up row with John Lesley in the BBC canteen after he jumped the queue so he could get the last piece of pie.
- In my school days, I would regularly top up my pocket money by conning my friends out of theirs with the 3 card trick (find the lady).
- I like to collect Japanese salt sachets from restaurants. I have over 50.
So there you go, that’s my list. But which is the half truth? Make your guesses in the comments section and I shall reveal the answer in a day or so.
Those of you who have been nominated, I can only apologise for so long, so just get on.
Laters 
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
I really, really hope the half-truth is number five.
.-= Iain Broome´s last blog ..Copywriters: ghosts of their writing selves? =-.
I think it is number 5 too
I’m pretty sure it’s number 5 too.
But the half-truth bit IMHO, is that it was YOU, Mr Uku, who was pushing your way to the top of the queue, not Mr Lesley!
Am I right? Huh? Am I?
Hmm, the trouble is, I could quite possibly believe every last one of them. I’m going with the Magenta story – unless it’s magenta coloured underpants….
Oh this is fun.
I had such trouble trying to come up with 6 lies that could also be vaguely plausible. The problem is I’m a bit of a weirdo (quiet at the back) so my life is full of strange things that you wouldn’t believe, but none of them were lies so I couldn’t use them.
For example:
I came within 3 feet of appearing on Brookside.
A famous TV comedian stole one of my jokes and performed it on the Royal Variety Show.
I once slept for 23 hours straight.
These are all true. You people have no idea what I have to go through to try and live a normal life. I have since decided that it really isn’t possible and have given up trying.
This is like the slightly pregnant conundrum; you either is or you ain’t. On this basis, which of the 7 could be half true ?
….and the answer… well none of them.
so its a random guess based on intuition. Intuitively 5. has factual info so is the most likely so I will therefore plump with no 1.
By the way – what was the prize ?
The prize is a brief description of me eating a pie or a bacon butty. Your choice, if you win.
6
.-= wildelycreative´s last blog ..Walking a section of The Ridgeway – edited version =-.
You still owe me.
I doubt if you are allergic to cake because you are forever stuffing your face with cheese on toast and stuff which would mean wheat flour and dairy are probably ok. You could have an egg intolerance I guess. Do you ever talk about having omelettes? I don’t think so.
Aw, thanks for nominating me! This should be fun. I wanna say it’s number 1… the half truth is that you do like magenta (who doesn’t?) but don’t quite manage to work it into your outfits every day.
.-= Natalie Adcock´s last blog ..#Hashtaghappy =-.
the half truth is that you bummed john leslie in return ffor pie`!!!!!!!
u drsanj akkcoho,l,
a lot.
A LOT A LOR.
I see somebody forgot to lock the Tantalus and Rosie got at the gin. It’s that new red hair. It’s too much power for her to handle, that’s what.
Whoopsy….
sober now…
3. With the half truth being it was an injury elsewhere.
3. with the half truth being it was actually ballet. tutu uku!
You are too weird, any of these could be half true. I’m going with the football one but really I’m stumped.
Although I still think its cake. I have to go with 5 too, much detail with John Lesley
It is 15:55 just in the nick of time…
I am going for the football thing although the urino-genital injury excuse is complete tosh.
There may also be a little known non- league side called Chelsea Academicals or Heart of Mid-Chelsea.
Alternatively it may be number five. Although it is possible that you are allergic to cake ( for which you have my deepest sympathy) but only seed cake.
Right, let’s have a look at your answers. Pencils down and all that.
OK, first off; Iain, Arabella,Jane and The Dingle all went for number 5.
You are all WRONG.
It never happened to me, but it did happen to a chap I used to work with. He used to be a sound engineer at the BBC.
Coincidentally, I have sat opposite John Lesley and Liz Kershaw on the train to Manchester. They were getting pissed on miniatures.
Nettie, SS and Natalie all went for option 1.
You are all WRONG.
Although I did once have a magenta pencil case.
Roland, Becca and a last minute entry from James all went with option 3.
You are all WRONG.
I know nothing of football and had to look Chelsea up in my Big Boys Book of Sport.
Karen went with option 6.
You are WRONG.
Although I am quite surprised I didn’t try it. They were a gullible lot.
Which leaves us with Rosie.
Rosie had multiple guesses and is disqualified.
She was also WRONG with each guess.
The correct answer was:
Option 4
I am indeed Reverend Uku of The Universal Life Church. A genuine registered church that will ordain anybody at the click of a button on it’s website. You can even print off a little certificate.
However, I have NEVER performed any sort of marriage or christening although I am eligible to do so in the USA.
Wasn’t that fun?
Thank you all for playing. I can now rest easy knowing that I am still the most unpredictable person you know
excellent news. when i decide to marry a parsnip, you can perform the ceremony here.
.-= Bethe´s last blog ..5 Great Garden Reads for Kids =-.